I am a dumb Jew. There. I said it. 

Allow me to explain:

Back in the Early 1990s, when I was in my early 20s, I voted for Meretz. I supported the Oslo Agreements. I danced in the square in Jerusalem (wearing my army uniform, and with an M16 on my back) when we signed the peace treaty with the Palestinians. I was in the Square when Rabin was gunned down, and I almost CRIED when Bibi was elected in the elections to follow. In the md 90s, I went to Ramallah with friends to show that I supported the Peace Process and that I had no fear and no distrust of the Palestinians there.

I voted for Ehud Barak in 1999 and once again danced in the square when he defeated Bibi and became Prime Minister. I was TERRIFIED of Ariel Sharon becoming PM and thought it was a national disaster for someone SO RIGHT WING to become leader of our country.

And even while we were being blown to smithareens on busses and cafes and at the entrance to shopping malls, and shot at in cars and bombarded with rockets, I always supported the so called "Peace Process".

Add to that the fact that I had an afinity for the protesters in Tahrir Square, for the Libyan Rebels and for the uprising in Syria. I actually thought that maybe if they had some freedom, some democracy, they might become a little less inclined to act like Nazis when it came to Jews and Israel.

So there you have it. I am a dumb ass. A fucking MORON to put it perhaps a little less politely. 

When Israel is attacked by terrorists from across the Egyptian border and eight people die, should we not expect the Egyptians to apologize? 

If the Palestinians do not admit responsibility, should we at least expect a statement condemning the act?

When we are the only country in the world that needs missile defense systems to protect our cities, AND WE ACTUALLY USE IT, should we not expect the world to show some concern, if not sympathy? 

When 1 million of our citizens are sleeping in bomb shelters because they are deliberately being targeted by Palestinian missiles, are we not justified in retaliating, just a little?

See, I think the answer to all these questions should be "yes"........ but I am just a dumb Jew.

My wife Limor has an iPhone under a business contract from Cellcom. She loves it, basically because she is hooked on that stupid bubble game, but also because of it simplifies the whole email thing for her.

A couple of days ago her headphone jack came out of the socket minus the end bit which remained lodged inside. This meant that the phone thought it was still in headphones mode and she could only use the phone on speaker, and of course couldn't use the headphones anymore. So she took the phone to Cellcom in Netanya (where we live) and asked them to fix it.

Now, this part is just downright bad service by Cellcom. The moron in Netanya told us that we need to take the phone to iDigital and they can fix the phone. No explanation, but it kinda seemed to make a little sense, since maybe they represent Apple in all ways in Israel, including fixing iPhones. So we took it to Ramat Aviv mall, and of course, the guy there says sorry, they don't have anything to do with iPhones. But the guy there explained that this is common for the operators to pass the buck to iDigital and he told us to take it to the Cellcom branch in Tel Aviv where they have a big lab. He meant well at least. So then we got to the Cellcom service center on Ibn Gvirol in Tel Aviv, where they at least had the courtesy to explain to us WHY we were sht out of luck. 

First of all, it appears that, as opposed to other phones, it is not possible to insure an iPhone via the operator. They just won't do it. They supply a 1 year manufacturers warranty, but thats it. On other phones, you pay a ridiculous amount per month to insure it, but at least if anything happens to the phone - including theft, loss, or even just throwing the thing against a brick wall (come on, we've all either done it or wanted to do it) - you get the phone either fixed or replaced. I've always found these insurance options to be useful for the first 6 - 12 months, depending on the value of the phone, since if you don't insure it, and something happens to the phone, you're screwed. 

So the iPhone has a manufacturer's warranty, but here's the really amazing thing; Apple don't have any facilities in Israel for fixing iPhones (or iPods apparently) and if something happens to the phone, they just replace it and ship the old one back to Cupertino (or wherever they come from). It doesn't matter how seemingly benign the problem is, even something as stupidly easy as removing a small piece of headphone, the Cellcom technicians won't touch it. Of course, if its a problem thats not covered by warranty, as is the case with a broken headphone jack EVEN IF ITS THE ORIGINAL APPLE HEADPHONES, you're shit out of luck and you have TO PAY FOR A NEW PHONE!!!!!

Our first reaction was to start the whole "I've had enough with your company's shit, I'm switching to Orange or Pelephone", but of course they have you by the balls. The phone is on a 36 month contract, which Limor is paying 92 NIS per month for the phone which she gets a full credit on the talktime. So in effect, it costs her nothing as long as she is talking (which, if you know Limor, is no problem). But if you want to break out of the contract, you need to keep paying the 92 NIS per month, PLUS you need to basically pay them for the data as well, which meant she would be paying 28 times 92, plus another amount which came to something similar. A total of 5500 NIS to walk away from the contract (with a broken phone, no less). I am aware that in the next few days the law is going to change and the second part of that amount is going to disappear, but STILL!

The story has a semi happy ending. We were walking along Ibn Gvirol, Limor under a storm cloud, smoke coming out of her ears, and we happened upon a little shop which sold iPhone covers and video games. We walked in and asked the guy if by any chance he had a lab where he could take a look at the iPhone, and sure enough he said he could take a look at it. In 10 minutes he had removed the offending part from the headphone socket and the phone was working again. He had to take the whole thing apart (which he did in front of us), but he managed to get the job done. And how much did he charge? 50 NIS. we were so grateful we bought a cover for the phone to try to make it more worth his while. 

Why do I say "semi happy ending"? Limor is sill stuck at Cellcom, and appears to be for the next 2 years or so.

BTW, its entirely possible that Orange and Pelephone have the same ridiculous situation in place, so I urge you to check your contracts. Personally, despite the fact that I am an Apple junky (Mac, iPod etc.) I am going to stay away from the iPhone as long as the mobile operators are involved. When I can buy one without a plan and that isn't tied to one operator, I may consider it. Otherwise I am looking at Android or Blackberry for my next phone.

This is awesome! John Lydon, AKA Johnny Rotten (of the Sex Pistols and now of PiL) was interviewed about a month ago in "The Independent". From the end of the article:

What I do know, having hung out with him for an afternoon, is that he's still always spoiling for a fight. As we're about to say our goodbyes, he pulls a sheaf of faxes out of his pocket. They are complaints, e-mailed to his manager, John "Rambo" Stevens, who lives in Arkansas, complaining that PiL will shortly be performing in Israel. One, from a fan called Lawrence Casin, declares: "I will destroy all my albums and paraphernalia that I have collected over the years if you bastards play that hell hole."

Most musicians, particularly those who have been around for 30 years, wouldn't let hate mail upset them. They probably wouldn't even read it. But John's anger is genuine. He wants me to record it, for posterity. "I really resent the presumption that I'm going there to play to right-wing Nazi jews," he tells me. "If Elvis-fucking-Costello wants to pull out of a gig in Israel because he's suddenly got this compassion for Palestinians, then good on him. But I have absolutely one rule, right? Until I see an Arab country, a Muslim country, with a democracy, I won't understand how anyone can have a problem with how they're treated."

I'm almost tempted to go see PiL in concert now.

From the 1983 Bob Dylan album "Infidels"

Neighborhood Bully

This had me giggling out loud. Might say something about my sense of humour.

From an article in the New York Times, and via Michael Totten

Beneath the familiar Arab iconography, like pictures of the president that hang in every shop, there is a wildness about the place, a feeling that things might come apart at any moment. A narcotic haze descends on Yemen every afternoon, as men stuff their mouths with glossy khat leaves until their cheeks bulge and their eyes glaze over. Police officers sit down and ignore their posts, a green dribble running down their chins. Taxi drivers get lost and drive in circles, babbling into their cellphones. But if not for the opiate of khat, some say, all of Yemen - not just those areas of the south and north already smoldering with discontent - would explode into rebellion.

[…]

Last year I expected to see at least a few government soldiers when I visited the ancient city of Shibam in Hadramawt, the vast eastern province where Osama bin Laden's father was born. A few months earlier, four South Korean tourists were blown up by a suicide bomber as they admired the view of Shibam from across the valley. I was a little nervous. "Don't worry," my guide said, patting my shoulder as we walked up to the ridge where the Koreans died. "Ever since the bombing they have put this place on high security." But when we got to the top of the ridge there was not a single soldier or policeman to be seen. We gazed out over the valley in silence. A sign stood nearby, showing a pair of binoculars and the words in English "Discover Islam." As we began to leave, my guide smiled broadly and gestured at the sign. "The Koreans - they discovered Islam," he said, giggling at his joke.

There isn't much doubt in my mind that Israel is facing one of its most difficult challenges since the formation of our state. I don't think we have ever been as isolated or despised - justifiably or not. I think we are headed towards further isolation and eventually, in the not too distanct future,  we will be the new old South Africa - again justifiably or not - facing widespread economic, academic and cultural boycotts. I feel like thats the atmosphere, and thats where we're headed. Yes, its very unfair, blah, blah, blah.

Isn't it time Bibi sat down and said "you know what? The world thinks we're a nation of assholes. Perhaps it would be in the country's best interest if we were to try and improve that image."

If I'm a politician, and the media has just published/concocted some story that paints me as a scumbag, I'm gonna go out, hire me a good PR agent and kiss a few babies, right? I'm gonna fight to defend my good name, but I'm not just going to whine about how unfairly I'm treated by the media, I'm gonna go out and create some facts, find some good photo opps that will convince people that I am not a scumbag.

In February 2009 Israel went to the polls and voted. 21% of the country voted for the Likud led by Bibi. 22% voted for Kadima led by Tzipi Livni and 10% voted for Labor uner Ehud Barak. Thats 53% of the population voting for parties that probably agree with each other on 90% of all issues. Thats also 53% of the population that has presumably rejected extremism whether it be religious or political by not voting for Lieberman, or Shas or Meretz. Now take into consideration that that 53% is much more like 63% or more of the Jewish popluation.

Ok, so we have around 63% of the Jewish population that you can categorize as somewhat reasonable. The Likud has accepted a 2 state solution, right? We didn't see any major demonstrations or huge drop in support for Bibi when he announced this or the 10 month freeze in building in the territories, so you gotta figure Likud voters are practical and accept that under the right conditions we need to try and find some kinda peaceful solution to our situation with the Palestinians.

I think the solution is kinda simple. Dump Lieberman as Foreign Minister, bring Kadima into goverment and make Livni FM. Its actually a bit unfair to make him the scapegoat since Bibi and Barak were probably far more responsible for the Flotilla Debacle than Lieberman was, but lets just say that he shouldn't have been there to begin with. Seriously, there is nothing that is gonna improve Israel's image more than getting rid of the man as FM. Offer him a dfferent ministry, one that suits a party with roughly half the mandates of the bigger coalition partners, and if he takes it, fine, if he bolts, so be it.

Image improvement aside, a National Unity Government that is made up of Likud, Labor and Kadima and any other party that is willing to live with the coalition guidelines would be far more representative of the majority than the current abomination. Its what the country wanted after the election, and its time we got what we voted for. 

Ok, I figure its about time I just let it all out.

Like a lot of people, I've been a little caught up in this recent fiasco (a pretty good word for it I think - I am of course referring to the "Flotilla Affair") and have found it hard to put my head down and work with all the Twitter and Facebook posting going on. Tweetdeck is to blame. I sit here trying to work and I keep seeing little provocative message pop up, beckoning me to retweet and comment and post on FB.

Now I consider myself to be a pretty balanced sort of guy when it comes to politics. I think of myself as a centrist. I think the proof to this is that most of my leftist friends think I’m a conservative, and most of my conservative friends think I am a liberal. I also think that I am quite balanced on the whole Arab Israeli conflict, and the issue of Israel/Palestine. I started out in the 90s voting for Meretz back around the days of Rabin and Oslo, and I ended up voting a couple of elections ago for Tommy Lapid and Shinui, and most recently for the Israeli Green party, which I guess suggests that I am in fact more to the left on Israeli politics, and I have always voted for parties that at least pretend to be interested in Peace. I also am ready to give up land for peace (real peace) and support the dismantling of settlements and the freezing of new settlements (except for Jerusalem, which is not a settlement).

So those are my credentials. What am I getting at? Well, I want to explain how I see this whole god-awful mess. And more than anything I would like my non-Jewish and non-Israeli friends to understand how I think, considering that they probably have noticed me passing on every bit of pro-Israel propaganda I come across.

Ok, so first some background to the issues. I believe very VERY strongly that most Israelis - in fact the vast majority - are completely open to a two state solution, and that they honestly sympathize with innocent Palestinians that are suffering due to the conflict. I believe that the only reason that they hesitate and end up voting for a hawk like Bibi is because they are genuinely afraid of a slip back into the terrorism of the mid 90s and early 00s, and a return to endless rocket attacks on Sderot and other settlements surrounding the Gaza Strip. If the Palestinians would just come out and say "We are ceasing violence, we want Peace”, 70, perhaps 80% of Israelis would melt and come running towards them with their arms outstretched looking for a big hug. (I think deep down we Jews just want to be loved and accepted, and as soon as someone comes out as a Judeophile or Pro Israel they are immediately accepted as one of us and immediately trusted. Clinton managed to do this, so did Bush, Berlusconi, Blair, King Hussein (!) and John Howard. Obama on the other hand.....)

Now, meanwhile, in Gaza we have Hamas in charge. They really don't like us, don't pretend to, and likely never will. We know that there are plenty of people in Gaza that are suffering under their rule, and we sympathize a great deal with them, but unfortunately, Hamas is nevertheless in charge, Its our fault they are in charge - our fault and our US allies who encouraged them to have an election with zero understanding of the reality on the ground, but mistakes are mistakes, and I won't deny we've made a heck of a lot of them. So, Hamas is in charge. Hamas, an organization that openly calls for our destruction, has no interest in peace. They're actually a breath of fresh air because at least they don't tell you they want peace and then stab you in the back when you turn around, like Nobel Laureate Yassir Arafat, but never mind that for now.

Ok, so we have put a blockade on Gaza. What is the point of this blockade? It’s to make sure that no weapons get into to Gaza. Its not to starve the Gazan people, or to punish them, its there purely to make sure they don't have shipload after shipload of katyushas etc. sent to them from their buddies in Iran. So we (and Egypt by the way) insist that all goods to Gaza are first inspected and we also have a list of things that we don't let them have because they can be used to make weapons, bunkers and stuff they can use against us. Now I know there are some stupid things on that list, and I don't agree with that. I've heard that Barbie dolls are allowed but Six Million Dollar Man dolls aren't or stuff like that, and thats just dumb. But I do think it is legitimate for us to be worried they will take shipment of weapons. Ok, so they are getting them through tunnels from the Sinai, but that doesn't mean we should just let them bring in stuff at their will. Don’t forget that since we unilaterally withdrew from Gaza, we were rewarded by about 8000 rockets and mortars raining down on our towns that are adjacent to the border. So we have a naval blockade.

Now, the "Peace Flotillla" comes along and it is masquerading as a hippie pleasure cruise on a goodwill mission to Gaza to deliver medical supplies, wheelchairs and soft toys to the poor deprived Gazans. (Please note - Israel does not put any restrictions on these items. Israel is delivering 100 trucks per day of goods into Gaza. The entire flotilla was carrying around 20 truckloads - one fifth of the goods transferred daily by Israel.) The whole world has been led to believe that these guys are all lovable human rights activists with no concern except for Gaza's poor children - which in itself would be legitimate, right? The problem is that while there is a smattering of these guys on the ships - usually clueless Swedes, Norwegians and Germans, there are also vast numbers of Islamist thugs that have come along hoping to get in a fight. You can look it up - "We await one of two good things - to achieve martyrdom or reach the shore of Gaza. These are people who wish to be martyred for the sake of Allah. As much as they want to reach Gaza, the other option is more desirable to them." Said one woman, and there are plenty of other things to that effect on Al Jazeera and the like - just never in English. The whole operation was put together by the Turkish Islamist group IHH with ties to Hizbollah and Hamas, and they made sure to put lots of their good old boys on board.

Ok, so this is how it all unfolds:

Israel knows they're coming. It offers them a great deal. Come to Ashdod, unload your cargos for inspection - we just want to make sure its nothing like RPGs, AK47s and the odd katyusha - and then we'll pass it on to Gaza. I think that’s a pretty reasonable offer, if your mission is to bring medicine and teddy bears to Gaza, don't you? But no. They refused. Ok, so here is your first indication (if you are a 6 year old, pay attention Bibi and Barak) that they are in fact on a mission that is a provocation and designed to illicit an aggressive response from Israel. So we all knew this a few days before they actually arrived.

So the Israeli Navy gets together its only unit that is trained to board a moving ship, and set it on a new course. This happens to be the Israeli version of "Navy Seals" and they are in fact badasses. BUT the geniuses that are in charge of this country decide they want their cake and to eat it too. They send the boys in to a mission where they have to perform the dangerous task of boarding a moving ship by rappelling down a line from a big ass helicopter. They can see there are crowds of harmless hippies down below them, curiously wearing gasmasks, balaclavas and iron rods, but they decide to descend directly into the crowd, armed with their prime weapon - a paintball rifle. They are also to have a sidearm – a pistol – just in case the proverbial hits the fan and there is real violence and their lives are threatened, but according to our intelligence that’s a long shot, right? I don't want to get into the issue of what the hell the military brass and the politicians were thinking, but that’s what their mission was.

Here's my biggest problem. The world is painting this mission as an outright massacre. Israeli storm troopers deliberately open fire on innocent, peace loving women and babies. I can't tell you how sick this makes me. I strongly believe that Israel got into this mess (once again) because it was trying to take the humane, non-violent road. The thinking goes like this - our soldiers are just going to convince the hippies that they have no alternative but to cooperate and bring the ship into Ashdod. We insist. And if you act like a goon, I will scare you by firing a paint pellet at you. It'll really sting, but you'll get the message. Sounds stupid, doesn't it, but you obviously haven't been paying attention to just how stupid our leaders can be. Stupid, but not malicious. (Ok, Sharon could be malicious, but he was a warrior. You wouldn't criticize General Patton for that quality)

Now our commandos are down on deck, and immediately they are surrounded by dozens of rioting "activists" armed with metal pipes and knives and they are using them with the obvious attempt to kill. Not to defend themselves, but to kill. Look at the videos. Here, here and Here. In my opinion there is no mistaking who the aggressors were. You can see one guy being thrown from the top deck down below, another guy being beaten savagely with a metal pole, then stabbed. This is what you call life threatening. Now try to imagine a policeman going into a riot armed with a truncheon or a tazer, but encountering a mob with sticks, sharp objects and projectiles and the intent to kill. Would you sanction the use of deadly force? I would. And I think if you are honest with yourself you would too. And that’s what happened. The commandos were forced into a situation where they felt their lives were threatened and they began to use deadly force to regain control.

You may argue that boarding the boat was a mistake in the first place was an act of piracy, breaking international law, etc, but I have heard extremely credible legal opinions (not just Israelis) that insist under the circumstances there is in fact legal justification for boarding the vessel. Remember, Israel is at war with Gaza. We have a cease-fire, but we are at war. Blockades have been used in the past and are a legitimate tool of war. So I say, ok, it is a legitimate course of action to board the ships and force them into port for inspection. Nobody complained when we stopped the Francop which was proven to be full of weapons. It might have been the worst course of action we could have taken, and it probably has been proven to be in hind sight, but it was a legitimate option.

BTW, I have a huge bone to pick with those responsible for the operational plan and I think they should pay a political price and should be sacked. What should they have done? I’m not qualified to answer, but it seems to me that they should have cleared the deck somehow with stun grenades and tear gas, perhaps rubber bullets – non lethal crowd dispersal methods. I don’t know if that’s possible from a helicopter, but they should have been better prepared for a fight.

So nine people are dead. All of them activists, presumably all from gunshot wounds. Is this a massacre? No. Its what happens when a group of rioters willfully attack soldiers with violence intended to kill. Massacres are when soldiers open fire into crowds of innocent people. Might innocent people have been killed? I believe there probably were one or two innocents caught up in the violence, but I think most of the dead would have been those involved in life threatening violence towards the soldiers. Those soldiers are the sons of some of my friends and business colleagues. None of them in my opinion are bloodthirsty killers. They are patriots that have volunteered to put their lives in danger and defend our country, and I therefore feel a lot more pain and regret for those of them that were injured than the dead “activists” who in my opinion wanted to be martyred for their cause and got what they wanted. Sounds cold doesn’t it. But why would you doubt it? Its not like Islamists have never been on suicide missions before, is it?

All the indignation and vitriol was to be expected. We basically played into our enemies’ hands. The world judges us harshly. Unfairly so. But that’s not news to any of us Israelis. We all know that real massacres go on all the time in far off places of this world and the global media yawns. North Korea sinks a South Korean ship killing 46 of its sailors. Hundreds of people are brutally murdered in Africa in ethnic violence. Turkey routinely kills Kurdish rebels  and Russia kills Chechens either justifiably or unjustifiably, Iran kills its own citizens protesting a rigged election, but nobody brings any of them to the UN security council. You have got to ask yourself, why is this so? This makes absolutely no sense.

Israel is not Apartheid South Africa. Israel has a legitimate reason why it has not made peace with the Palestinians or its Arab neighbors. It could be accused of not doing enough to speed up the process, but its reasons are not because it prefers to commit genocide. If you believe it is, you are a fool. Take it from someone that comes from a very democratic, western country (Australia) and has lived here for almost 20 years. Don’t you think that if you were living in an evil, fascist country, serving in its army, living alongside professional soldiers that you would know it?  Don’t you think that it’s just a little bit possible that the other side shoulders some of the blame? Seriously?

So that’s it. I don’t care if you agree with me, or if you think I am naïve and living in a fantasy land, I credit myself with some intelligence and I think that my opinion is well based in the reality of the situation. I hope that my Turkish and other non-Jewish and non Israeli friends can understand where I am coming from and why I am furiously defending my country.

I just attended the Yom Hazikaron ceremony at my daughters' high school. It was very moving.

First of all, it begins with the nationwide sounding of the air raid siren to mark a minute's silence. I'm not sure if this is done in any other countries, but in Israel it is extremely chilling, particularly when you realize those sirens are not only there for a reason, but have also been used often for their real purpose. I'm not sure if people outside of Israel appreciate the fact that we all have bomb shelters either in our homes, or community shelters nearby. The air raid sirens are constantly tested, and when they are you always have that couple of seconds where you are wondering whether its for real or a test.

My own experience with air raid sirens here in Israel came in 1990 during the first Gulf War when we were under fire from Saddam Hussein's Scud missiles. But of course residents of the North and South live under constant threat of katyushas and kassam missiles.

Then there was a speech by a mother of a graduate of the school that was killed in a tank (along with the whole crew) during the Second Lebanon War. Then all of a sudden I was looking out at the hundreds of kids, many of them kids I know, who are going to serve in the army, navy and air force in the next few years. Its also a tradition for the graduates of the last year or two to attend the ceremony in uniform. And then you think about the fact that some of them inevitably will fight in our future wars and skirmishes. Some of them might have already been in battle.

My own daughter Shai is in the 11th grade and will be starting her military service in less than 2 years. Ok, its a bit different for girls, since they usually won't be in combat, but Shai would like to be a pilot, and she's just damn smart enough and strong willed enough to be accepted and to make it through the grueling training. Nothing would make me prouder..... or more terrified.

At 20:00 tonight, Remembrance Day turns into Independence Day, and we go from the saddest day of the year to the happiest day of the year. Nothing sums up Israel better.

I just finished reading "Kill Your Friends" by John Niven (after it was enthusiastically recommended to me by my good friend Rob Woolf, who had it enthusiastically recommended to him by his sister, Giselle, also a good friend), and I have to say I thought it was SEN-SAY-SHUNAL!

Its not for everyone - its kinda like a British version of American Psycho, but FAR more humorous. In fact parts of it are laugh out loud hilarious.

If you remember (fondly or not) the music coming out of Britain in the late 90s (from Radiohead to the Spice Girls) and don't mind a bit (understatement) of sex, drugs and violence, then do yourselves a favor and READ THE BOOK!! It should only take you a day or two - either because you can't put it down or you can't read another page out of disgust.